ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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