The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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