Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
