I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
