it wasn't lemon gatorade
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
