haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
