He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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