we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
