the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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