these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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