So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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