Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
