erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
