so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize