i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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