Duck Duck Cougar?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
