Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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