The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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