It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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