he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
