I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Everything about him screamed your future.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
