Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
