I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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