can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize