She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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