she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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