Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
