Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
