How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize