why didn't you poke me back
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
time to smoke my breakfast
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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