I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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