I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
