Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
