i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
