The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Randomize
