I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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