I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Holy shit dude........stairs
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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