He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize