so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize