Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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