what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
