Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
