I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
