It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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