Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
