it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
