Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
