you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
are you so shy because you have an std?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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