I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
