Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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