Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize