i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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