The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
