Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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