Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
two words: eviction party
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize