covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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