No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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