Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
