shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
