Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
