Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
