I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
