A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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