hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
